Suffering in silence?

if you’ve been told that grieving is something you should only do in private then you need to know that this attitude can be one of the biggest contributors in converting grief into full blown depression.

The loss of a loved one interrupts the normal day-to-day functioning of your nervous system. It activates the same part of the brain as does danger. You will be constantly conscious of something your brain perceives as ‘danger’ that isn’t there.

If you’re pain isn’t realised, your body actually acts as though it’s in mortal danger. That’s why your chest tightens, your stomach churns and your thoughts spiral. The same symptoms as fear.

Grief is not meant to be hidden. It’s meant to be held in conversation, in community and in connection. So when people say “I don’t want to burden anyone” they are really saying “I’ve been trained to suffer alone”.

Grieving alone doesn’t make you strong, it makes you sick.

Grief is a heavy burden. But shared grief doesn’t disappear, it transforms.

Be sure that nobody is left to grieve alone as healing can’t start. This is one of the biggest misunderstandings about grief.